Wasting Time...?

image by stoishere.com

Lately, more and more people are starting ask me about my "relationship" with Mr. Angry. Apparently all of my friends consider us dating and was wondering when I'm going to introduce him to everyone.

"We're not dating..." I told them.

Then I wonder... WHAT IS considered "DATING"?

OK... Mr. Angry and I see each other once or twice a week. We do act like a couple in public. We are exclusive. Yes. And we definitely hang out sometimes even if it doesn't involve sex.

Hm... but we DID have "the conversation". You know, the one where I tell him that I don't see him as a boyfriend and am not looking to be in one with him.

It's true. I DON'T.

I like him enough to want to see him regularly. We have together almost everytime we hang out.

BUT there's NO WAY that I can have him in my future because he's SO ANGRY. I can't have someone breaking furnitures and glasses in my face everytime he's upset.

So what are we? What do I do with this?

Are we just ... WASTING TIME?

Bisous,
Lady Papillon
Real Love. Real Rants.

I. HATE. YOU.

... those are the 3 words that I wanted to scream out so badly during my online conversation with Mr. Dee just a few hours ago.

Image from http://www.zootpatrol.com/

Yes, it's been about 4 months now and YOU THINK I'd be over him. but no. Everything little thing he does matters to me. Every sentence he says to me still causes my stomach to twist and turn like it's on a rollercoaster in my body.

4 months. I still feel bitter about how things ended.

And finally, today, just a few hours ago, I had the chance to tell him.

Every Single Word.

I got to tell him how selfish he was to break up with me just because HE was feeling pressured by his brother and our friends.

I got to tell him how immature he was to drag me "into bed" on our first date and then now tell me he thinks we're moving too fast.

I got to tell him how much I liked him and how cruel he was to end things ON MY BIRTHDAY.

....I also got to tell him how much I still like him.

*sigh*

Bisous,
Lady Papillon
Real Love. Real Rants.

DESTINY...

...a word that many follow religiously as their Guide to Life.

I don't know what to think about this really. When are the times that you usually hear this word being used?

Usually is after the a tragic lost of such, no?

We wait for months and that limited edition designer purse  we've always wanted finally comes out. But before we can get our hands to it, it was sold out. Devastated, we say, "It's Destiny."

After planning a huge vacation and realized that it has to be cancelled last minute due the weather condistions.  Disappointed, we say, "It's Destiny."

The relationship with the man that we had planned our life around knowing that we will be living the rest of our life with his last name attached to ours ended with a tragic fight. Heart broken, we say, "It's Destiny".

It is an excuse.

It is an escape.

It is a magical word that has the power to somehow induce a little hope in our hollowed heart so that we can feel less sadness, less hopelessness, less pain.

Bisous,

Lady Papillon

Real Love. Real Rants.